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	<title>Viper Web Systems</title>
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	<link>http://www.viperwebsystems.com</link>
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	<pubDate>Mon, 19 May 2008 07:34:03 +0000</pubDate>
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		<title>Do You Love Cultured Pearls?</title>
		<link>http://www.viperwebsystems.com/2008/09/do-you-love-cultured-pearls/</link>
		<comments>http://www.viperwebsystems.com/2008/09/do-you-love-cultured-pearls/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>HimfrEcho</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Womens Interest]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[Few women don&#8217;t like pearls. It&#8217;s so shining and beautiful. But do you like cultured pearls? As we know, the pearl, symbol of purity, virtue and modesty, is also one of the most precious types of jewellery. Technically known as &#8220;organic gems&#8221;, pearls have been harvested and worn for more than 4,000 years. Their appearance, [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Few women don&rsquo;t like pearls. It&rsquo;s so shining and beautiful. But do you like cultured pearls? As we know, the pearl, symbol of purity, virtue and modesty, is also one of the most precious types of jewellery. Technically known as &#8220;organic gems&#8221;, pearls have been harvested and worn for more than 4,000 years. Their appearance, and how they are acquired, has changed dramatically over that time, and especially in the past hundred years. But pearl jewellery remains a classic.</p>
<p>A pearl is formed when an irritant, such as sand or a parasite, becomes lodged in the shell of an oyster. The oyster deposits layers of a semi-translucent crystalline material called &#8220;nacre&#8221; around the intruder, building the layers up for years, and creating a pearl. Natural pearls take many years to develop and often have irregular shapes, ranging from slightly off-spherical to twisting, bulging shapes called &#8220;baroque.&#8221; In any shape, they&rsquo;re rare and very costly.</p>
<p>Around the beginning of the 20th century, it was learned that if a sphere of material was placed into an oyster and the oyster stimulated correctly, the oyster would create an almost perfectly round pearl. The longer the pearl remains in the oyster, the larger and more valuable the pearl becomes. These are called &#8220;cultured&#8221; pearls. Almost all pearls used in today&rsquo;s jewellery are cultured pearls.</p>
<p>Pearls are cultured all over the world, but Japan, China and America remain in the forefront of production. Different types of oysters in seawater, or mollusks in freshwater, create cultured pearls with different sizes, colours and other qualities.</p>
<p>Cultured pearls are rated on five different qualities:</p>
<p>Luster and orient</p>
<p>Luster is the sharpness and intensity of the reflections on the pearl&#8217;s surface, and orient is the iridescent colours one sees within the pearl. The higher the luster and orient, the more valuable the pearl.</p>
<p>Colour</p>
<p>Colour describes both the main colour (usually white, black or yellow) and the undertone (often pink, rose, or even green.) Pearls can also be dyed any shade according to personal preference.</p>
<p>Cleanliness</p>
<p>This describes how many imperfections are found on the pearl&rsquo;s surface. All real pearls &ndash; natural or cultured &ndash; will have some imperfections, but the fewer and less noticeable they are the better.</p>
<p>Shape</p>
<p>In general, spherical pearls are the most prized. However, it is common to find small imperfections of shape, which can sometimes be desirable as long as they are symmetrical. Teardrop-shaped pearls, for instance, are often used in earrings and pendants.</p>
<p>Size</p>
<p>Cultured pearls are sold by diameter, measured in millimeters. In general, larger cultured pearls are rarer and more costly. But you should also consider how well matched pearls are when combined in jewellery, such as on a necklace or in earrings. Look for pearls that are essentially the same size, colour, shape and luster. Keep in mind that the better matched pearls there are in a piece of jewellery, the higher the cost. That&#8217;s why pearl earrings cost more than two individual pearls.</p>
<p>When you buy cultured pearls, remember they&rsquo;re fairly soft gems. They can easily be scratched if they bump into things, or by other jewellery. Keep them separate from harder gems in your jewellery box.</p>
<p>Black Cultured Pearls</p>
<p>Black cultured pearls come from a variety of sources. The rarest are those from a large, black-lipped oyster found in the South Seas. These oysters create large, silver-gray to black pearls that can have other colours as overtones &ndash; the most valuable being peacock green.</p>
<p>Given the rarity of South Seas black cultured pearls, enhanced black cultured pearls can be used as an alternative. These are dyed all the way through using a process called &#8220;French dying&#8221;, which produces an even, strong colour that lasts for years. However they&rsquo;re coloured, they are real cultured pearls and need to be handled with the same care as any others.</p>
<p>Fresh Water Pearls</p>
<p>Recently, techniques have been developed to culture pearls in freshwater mollusks. These are sometimes called &#8220;Biwa pearls&#8221;, after the Japanese lake where they were first developed, but today that name should only be used for cultured pearls from Lake Biwa.</p>
<p>Freshwater pearls are cultivated around the world, although China is the foremost producer. Some are spheres and used like other round pearls; some are button-shaped and used to accent jewellery; some are blister shaped, or even Rice Crispie shaped. Large ones are often called Mab</p>
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		<title>What I Konw About Gold</title>
		<link>http://www.viperwebsystems.com/2008/09/what-i-konw-about-gold/</link>
		<comments>http://www.viperwebsystems.com/2008/09/what-i-konw-about-gold/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>HimfrEcho</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Womens Interest]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[What is gold?
The dictionary says &#8220;Gold is a remarkable, rare metal, with an unparalleled combination of chemical and physical properties. It is the only yellow metal and bears its name from the Old English word for yellow, &#8216;geolu&#8217;. It is also the only metal that forms no oxide film on it&#8217;s surface in air at [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>What is gold?</p>
<p>The dictionary says &ldquo;Gold is a remarkable, rare metal, with an unparalleled combination of chemical and physical properties. It is the only yellow metal and bears its name from the Old English word for yellow, &#8216;geolu&#8217;. It is also the only metal that forms no oxide film on it&#8217;s surface in air at normal temperatures, meaning that it will never rust or tarnish.&rdquo;</p>
<p>And we also know that gold&#8217;s chemical symbol, Au, comes from the latin word for gold, aurum. In the Periodic Table of Elements, gold is classified as a transitional metal with the following characteristics;</p>
<p>&bull; Symbol: Au<br />
<br />&bull; Atomic number: 79<br />
<br />&bull; Atomic mass: 196.96655 amu<br />
<br />&bull; Number of protons/electrons: 79<br />
<br />&bull; Number of neutrons: 118<br />
<br />&bull; Melting point: 1,064.43</p>
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		<title>How to Write a Great Term Paper</title>
		<link>http://www.viperwebsystems.com/2008/08/how-to-write-a-great-term-paper/</link>
		<comments>http://www.viperwebsystems.com/2008/08/how-to-write-a-great-term-paper/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>DanielMillions</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Writing]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false"></guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Writing a term paper can be a disheartening and frustrating thing for a student to do nowadays. Often, papers are given on short notice, and one only has a brief amount of time to complete the work. To make matters worse, students feel that they do not have enough time in their schedule to write [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Writing a term paper can be a disheartening and frustrating thing for a student to do nowadays. Often, papers are given on short notice, and one only has a brief amount of time to complete the work. To make matters worse, students feel that they do not have enough time in their schedule to write papers. However, if one is familiar with term papers and how to write them, they do not need to be so intimidating.</p>
<p>People often underestimate the importance of term papers. All of them together make up a large portion of one&#8217;s final grade, and doing poorly on just a few can have a significant impact. Therefore, it is important not to brush off term papers as unnecessary and not worth the time. In addition to being worth a lot of points, they also expand your knowledge and help you do better in the class as a whole.</p>
<p>Most term papers are long, detailed, and require multiple sources and documentation. In essence, they are advanced research papers, and are usually only given out in college and other higher level institutions. Several different perspectives are utilized to attempt to prove a point or explain something intimately. Even though many of the ideas of a term paper come from external sources, it is critical that plagiarism be avoided. Some students accidentally commit plagiarism, as it is still plagiarizing if you paraphrase text and do not cite it. As long as one is consistent with paraphrase and citations, plagiarism can be avoided easily.</p>
<p>It is not easy to write a term paper, and thus, the process is broken down in to several manageable steps. Trying to write a term paper in one fell swoop will leave you frustrated and unaccomplished. The first step is choosing the ideal topic, which is usually made easy since a teacher often gives the topic. If they do not, and rather give an overall subject, you can deduce a topic by thinking about something that could be proven or argued for.</p>
<p>Once you have the topic, you must start gathering notes and doing research about it, gathering as many perspectives as you can in order to develop your argument as fully as possible. After all your notes are ready, the outline of the paper can be drafted. An outline follows the form that utilizes Roman numerals, capital letters, and numbers to structure the document.</p>
<p>It is best to include any citations that you are going to use in the outline, so they are all ready to be placed in the paper. It is only once all of these preliminary steps are completed that the paper can actually start to be written. y this point, writing it is not so hard, as you have the outline to follow and you only need to make minor adjustments. The initial attempt at writing a term paper is known as the first draft. When the first draft is done, the final step is to read over it, edit it, and transform it into the final draft. The final draft includes everything, and should be ready to be turned in for a grade.</p>
<p>As long as you take a term paper bit by bit, it is quite easy to complete. With the Internet, you have an almost limitless amount of resources, so writing a term paper is easier now than ever.</p>
<p>Custom <a href="http://www.essaytown.com">term paper</a> written to your specifications. If you can&#8217;t afford one check out our <a href="http://www.essaytown.com/free_paper.html">free term papers</a>.</p>
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		<title>Write a Research Paper in 5 Steps</title>
		<link>http://www.viperwebsystems.com/2008/08/write-a-research-paper-in-5-steps/</link>
		<comments>http://www.viperwebsystems.com/2008/08/write-a-research-paper-in-5-steps/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>DanielMillions</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Writing]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false"></guid>
		<description><![CDATA[So you have been asked to write a research paper, but you are unsure on how to start or what is expected of you. Fear not, there is plenty of advice available to help you understand this and to guide you along the way. Once you are aware of the steps needed then writing the [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>So you have been asked to write a research paper, but you are unsure on how to start or what is expected of you. Fear not, there is plenty of advice available to help you understand this and to guide you along the way. Once you are aware of the steps needed then writing the proposal will not seem as daunting as before. Read on to find out why you need to plan your work carefully and the importance of proof reading.</p>
<p>The first thing that you should do before anything else is to plan your time in advance. Time management skills are vital in any sphere of life and so it is a good idea to get into good habits as soon as possible. Ideally for an average research paper of 15-20 pages you should give yourself a month to complete the whole process. No doubt you will have other commitments beside the paper so you need to factor in when you will definitely not be able to work on the paper as much as the time when you can.</p>
<p>Try to plan the project so that you aim to complete the paper one week before it is due. This is a fail safe method that will allow for any last minute problems and ensure that the work is not affected by any last minute rush.</p>
<p>Now on to the research paper itself. You can begin by writing down a research hypothesis. This does not need to be anything more than a few sentences, but should address a particular problem or issue and specifically ask a question that will be answered eventually by the research.</p>
<p>Once this is done and you have a clearer idea of what your research intends to do, it is time to visit the library. At this stage you should thoroughly research the topic, reading and developing a good understanding of the background to the problem, the various arguments and positions on the problem and any other relevant material. It is important that as you carry out your research you methodically record what materials you have read and plan to use in the research paper. This is good practice, but it will also make the writing of the research paper much easier later on. It will also form the basis of your bibliography.</p>
<p>The next stage is to write an outline of the research paper. Begin with the introduction by expanding upon your initial hypothesis and then outline the key points to the paper. Examples might be the background to the problem, the key arguments for and against and then reasons for further research.</p>
<p>Now that you have the outline and the research is done you can begin the most important part of the process, the writing. Follow the outline and allow yourself to freely write a rough draft of the paper. Do not worry about errors and inaccuracies at this stage as they are easy to correct later.</p>
<p>When this is complete you can begin the proof reading stage. It is a good idea to ask someone else to read through it as other people so often see things that we ourselves miss, but you can do this yourself also. Carefully read through the paper looking for any spelling and grammatically errors. You can also do some fact checking and generally tidy the paper up so that it is ready for submission.</p>
<p>Need a <a href="http://www.essaytown.com">research paper</a> but you don&#8217;t have the time? Essay Town can create a custom paper and you can choose from one of many <a href="http://www.essaytown.com/subjects.html">research paper topics</a>.</p>
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		<title>Methods of Writing an Essay</title>
		<link>http://www.viperwebsystems.com/2008/08/methods-of-writing-an-essay/</link>
		<comments>http://www.viperwebsystems.com/2008/08/methods-of-writing-an-essay/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>DanielMillions</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Writing]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false"></guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Over the course of your studies, whether in high school or college, you will be required to write a multitude of essays on a wide range of topics. Therefore, it is imperative to your success that you can write superb and engaging essays, as without this skill, it is difficult to even pass a class. [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Over the course of your studies, whether in high school or college, you will be required to write a multitude of essays on a wide range of topics. Therefore, it is imperative to your success that you can write superb and engaging essays, as without this skill, it is difficult to even pass a class. Constructing an essay is not as intimidating as it first appears, as long as you recognize the steps of writing and take in to account some helpful tips.</p>
<p>Transitioning from high school to college can be a tough experience, as the general requirements for essays become harder. Also, professors often do not alert you to the new requirements, as they expect you to already know them. Sometimes the only way to become familiar with a different grading style is to write an essay normally and then read whatever comments are put on to it after it is graded. In this manner, you can adapt fairly quickly to a fresh environment and be as successful as you were in high school.</p>
<p>The major focus of a college essay is on analysis and critical thinking. High school essays usually require that you just demonstrate a basic understanding of the subject by simply reporting information. These essays test the student&#8217;s research skills more completely than their thinking capacity. Large portions of a college essay should focus on a small part of the topic, but elaborate on that part with intense analysis. It may take time to adjust to writing in this style, but after a few tries, it becomes much easier to craft an essay of this nature.</p>
<p>To write the perfect essay, it is essential that you plan what you are going to say. By writing along as you go, your thoughts become disorganized and do not follow the flow than an essay should. Once you have finished the plan, start writing right away. It is easy to make a plan and then wait a few more days to actually start, so try hard to avoid this.</p>
<p>Establish a clear direction and focus early on in the essay. A written work that jumps around and does not stay on one topic is usually not regarded well, and a lack of focus influences other parts of the essay. If you have already developed a plan, then staying relevant should not be difficult at all.</p>
<p>To be able to write an essay, you must also be able to read essays. Digesting other writers essays that are of a similar topic to yours can give you new ideas and improve your general writing skills. There are plenty of essays available online, so there is no shortage of reading material. Take time to analyze each essay, as totally understanding one essay is better than having a slight comprehension of ten.</p>
<p>Once the essay is completed, it cannot be stressed enough to have it proofread, preferably multiple times. Reading it over yourself is good, but to get the most useful feedback, it is necessary to have someone else proofread your essay as well. Not only can they spot spelling and grammatical errors that may have evaded you, but they can also give you ideas on restructuring the format or adding/deleting a passage. There is no doubt that having a proofreader greatly increases your chances of a high grade.</p>
<p>If you are looking for a custom written <a href="http://www.essaytown.com">essay</a> or <a href="http://www.essaytown.com/subjects.html">essay topics</a> please visit Essay Town.</p>
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		<title>Rule 27: Cut Out the Curfew</title>
		<link>http://www.viperwebsystems.com/2008/08/rule-27-cut-out-the-curfew/</link>
		<comments>http://www.viperwebsystems.com/2008/08/rule-27-cut-out-the-curfew/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>L.Lowell</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Womens Interest]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false"></guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Shawna Todd is the happily married mother of two children who has learned to fill her plate daily and eat through it by 11 p.m. each night.
Believe it or not, negotiating weekend curfew times for your teen driver doesn&#8217;t have to be a battle.
How does one go about setting a reasonable curfew time for their [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Shawna Todd is the happily married mother of two children who has learned to fill her plate daily and eat through it by 11 p.m. each night.</p>
<p>Believe it or not, negotiating weekend curfew times for your teen driver doesn&rsquo;t have to be a battle.</p>
<p>How does one go about setting a reasonable curfew time for their newly licensed 16-year-old high school student? Addressing this issue can be a daunting task and most likely a dilemma that faces every household. Once your teen is issued that much-sought-after freedom pass of a driver&rsquo;s license from the DMV, your parenting skills will be put to the test.</p>
<p>If you thought you lost sleep when they were a newborn, think again. Those tiny worry lines all of a sudden become much more deeply ingrained in your face as you watch them put the car in reverse and jet out the driveway. After trying several approaches, we found the following solution to setting a reasonable curfew time.</p>
<p>As we all know, children will push the limit and want to stay out much longer than their parents can keep their eyes open. When our son first started to drive we found ourselves constantly trying to negotiate with him as to a reasonable time to return home on Friday and Saturday nights. In the beginning we were the time initiators, giving him the expected time to return home. We made it very clear that whatever time we set, he was expected to be in the door and on his way to bed, not driving in and parking the car. He was pretty good at staying within his parameters, and if he was going to be a few minutes late, he knew that a phone call at anytime of the night was appreciated versus his parents sitting, waiting and worrying.</p>
<p>This approach worked for awhile, but as his social calendar grew, he wanted stay out later. Each week he would try to get us to lengthen the time and occasionally we did, but it was a constant discussion, and it was growing old fast. Truly, it was a war over extra minutes, and the battle of the clock reared its ugly head every single weekend. We found ourselves groaning, he was complaining, and all were getting tired of the negotiations.  Something had to change!</p>
<p>By pure chance our 13-year-old daughter was taking a conflict resolution training course at about the time we could think of no other approach to this daunting curfew dilemma. As we sifted through the paper work she brought home, the wheels started turning, the light bulb came on, and our answer to this whole curfew mess was right there. Hallelujah!</p>
<p>Answer their question with a question. Right from the very beginning this approach worked. We can now say that &ldquo;from experience&rdquo; when either of our children asks &ldquo;What time do you want me home?&rdquo; We found it best to not give a time, but instead answer them back with a question. &ldquo;What time would you like to come home?&rdquo;</p>
<p>More times than not they always gave a time that was earlier than we were thinking. Even from our seasoned son who we had struggled with in the beginning. Oh my, could it be this easy? Yes!</p>
<p>This approach gave them a feeling of control and setting their own rule. The big plus: They were always timely. Occasionally, we would extend the time by 30 minutes as a reward as long as it was reasonable. We never allowed a time after 12:15 a.m. Why the 15 extra minutes? That way they could leave their event at midnight, not feel like the first one leaving and have the time needed to drive home.</p>
<p>Now, in the process of surviving our second teen driver, we can honestly say we do not think either ever caught on to our reverse psychology.</p>
<p>As excerpted from &#8220;42 Rules &#8482; for Working Moms&#8221; Super Star Press, 2008.</p>
<p>Laura Lowell is the executive editor and author of &#8220;42 Rules for Working Moms.&#8221; She has gathered practical advice and information from working moms all over the world to share with others. She lives and works in Silicon Valley with her husband and two girls. <a href="http://www.42rules.com/working_moms/index" title="http://www.42rules.com/working_moms/index" target="_blank">http://www.42rules.com/working_moms/index</a></p>
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		<title>Rule 28: Dare to Compare</title>
		<link>http://www.viperwebsystems.com/2008/08/rule-28-dare-to-compare/</link>
		<comments>http://www.viperwebsystems.com/2008/08/rule-28-dare-to-compare/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>L.Lowell</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Womens Interest]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false"></guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Tia Yates is a Legal Assistant in house for Washington Mutual Bank, the loving wife to William and a grateful Mom to four active boys ages 2-14.
Comparison is comfortable. We compare prices and nutrition labels at the grocery store. I certainly compared my babies to my friends; percentiles, sleeping habits, first words and steps. It [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Tia Yates is a Legal Assistant in house for Washington Mutual Bank, the loving wife to William and a grateful Mom to four active boys ages 2-14.</p>
<p>Comparison is comfortable. We compare prices and nutrition labels at the grocery store. I certainly compared my babies to my friends; percentiles, sleeping habits, first words and steps. It was not a far slide into comparing myself to other moms &ndash; unfortunately with an obscured view.</p>
<p>I watched these &ldquo;all together&rdquo; women with an amazing talent for keeping it all running smoothly. Never missing the PTA meeting, always able to manage their work schedules around the school events and making adorable snacks. They were the poster moms for &ldquo;having it all.&rdquo; I, on the other hand, felt like I was always running late, taking every shortcut I could find, and collapsing into bed at night. I didn&rsquo;t realize it, but comparing myself to those moms was driving how I was living. It made me very critical of myself and in turn my family.</p>
<p>I had always shied away from sharing too much with moms at school or other activities. I didn&rsquo;t want them to see that I occasionally dropped the ball in my juggling act. It was bad enough that I felt judged by the stay at home moms. I was horrified when I would forget until the last minute that it was our week to bring snack, and I had to buy something from the store! They would never serve a store-bought snack! My husband would tell me I was being irrational, but I could not help it. I was so thankful when our school district mandated store bought items for school.</p>
<p>When my third son came along our lives changed a little more then we expected. Eventually he would officially be labeled &ldquo;developmentally delayed,&rdquo; but the path it took to get there, filled with specialists, and therapy appointments, sleepless nights and heavy-hearted days made me stop comparing myself to other moms. Not because I had had an epiphany. I wish. It was because I did not have the energy.</p>
<p>I also got to know a lot of my &ldquo;pedestal&rdquo; moms better. They would ask how therapy was going, or if we had attained this or that goal, and suddenly their guards were down. I learned that they had their mom at home to help keep house or bake cupcakes for them, or a part time job out of their house that allowed for more flexibility in schedule.</p>
<p>As things settled into life as we know it today, I realized how much more I enjoyed working the book fairs and attending the fundraising events for the kids&rsquo; schools or sports. I don&rsquo;t kick myself if it does not all work out perfectly, and I am not able to make every single event. I love the contributions I do make because I am doing it for myself and my children now, and not because I am trying to be like someone else, or because I will feel like I am less of a mom if sometimes I can&rsquo;t swing it.</p>
<p>Today I love that I can accept myself as a good mom, and while I still catch myself measuring my birthday party planning skills to another mom&rsquo;s (I did once make a pi</p>
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		<title>Rule 29: Don&#8217;t Let Yourself Go</title>
		<link>http://www.viperwebsystems.com/2008/08/rule-29-donrsquot-let-yourself-go/</link>
		<comments>http://www.viperwebsystems.com/2008/08/rule-29-donrsquot-let-yourself-go/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>L.Lowell</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Womens Interest]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false"></guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Tina DeMattia, is 36 years old and has one child. She just earned her Marriage and Family Therapy license after completing 3000 hours of internship and two written licensing exams.
During my pregnancy, I was finishing up an internship, and working a private practice to become a psychotherapist. I had supervision twice a week, group therapy [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Tina DeMattia, is 36 years old and has one child. She just earned her Marriage and Family Therapy license after completing 3000 hours of internship and two written licensing exams.</p>
<p>During my pregnancy, I was finishing up an internship, and working a private practice to become a psychotherapist. I had supervision twice a week, group therapy and individual therapy once a week. Needless to say, I had a lot of emotional support!  I took great pride in my clothes and make-up and got my hair and nails done on a regular basis. While I have struggled with my weight my whole life, I have always tried to look as good as I could at whatever weight. I loved being pregnant because I didn&rsquo;t have to hide.</p>
<p>After I had my son, I was overwhelmed with how I felt about him; how inadequate I felt as a mother and how disgusting I thought I looked. I went into survival mode, and I didn&rsquo;t care about my appearance anymore. I came dangerously close to becoming the &ldquo;weird pajama lady.&rdquo; I felt depressed and isolated. If I showered and ate everyday it was a miracle. We ate take-out almost every night and I didn&rsquo;t wear anything without an elastic waistband. All of my attention was on my baby and how to take care of him.</p>
<p>To be honest, I actually loved the idea of staying in my jammies all day, shuffling around in my slippers doing the &ldquo;coffee fuckaround&rdquo; endlessly. This goes by many names, but basically it is when you have your first cup of coffee at 8 a.m., next thing you know, it is 1 p.m. You&rsquo;ve drained the coffee pot, you haven&rsquo;t showered or done anything in particular. You swear the clock is wrong; it is almost like a time warp. There was a point when I realized I had let myself go&mdash;emotionally and physically.</p>
<p>My regular emotional support system was gone, along with my hygiene. My TV addiction had peaked to a new low. I was obsessed with TLC&rsquo;s &ldquo;Baby Story&rdquo; and two different make over shows. I was astounded by how many makeovers were dedicated to helping working moms get their groove back. I thought to myself, oh my God, those poor women. What happened to them that they forgot about themselves? Then I caught the expression on the mailman&rsquo;s face when I greeted him with yet another tardy bill to go out. &ldquo;What&rsquo;s his problem?&rdquo; I thought. Then I went inside. It was 2 p.m., I hadn&rsquo;t brushed my hair, I was wearing my glasses, Christmas pajama bottoms (in June,) with a stained sweatshirt and slippers. &ldquo;Oh, I am one of those women now&rdquo; (And I have to go back to work next week!).</p>
<p>I called other working mothers for advice. Most of them said, &ldquo;I don&rsquo;t have time for that besides, who would watch my children?&rdquo; I went back to my therapy group and asked my friends for support and help. I felt guilty at first, but then I asked my husband to watch OUR child so I could go shopping and get my hair and nails done. At that point, it did not feel frivolous to me, it was necessary. After I had completed my own makeover, I felt so much better about myself. I vowed to never let myself go ever again.</p>
<p>When I went back to work, I felt more confident again, and I was grateful for a reason to shower, put myself together and activate a different part of my brain. I remember that my nanny complimented the fact that I always put myself together. She mentioned that the other mothers she worked for run out of the house wearing whatever, with wet hair, no make-up and coffee. I thanked her and smiled to myself.</p>
<p>It feels important to me to help other mothers realize that taking care of yourself is just as important as taking care of others. What we wear and what we look like says a lot about who we think we are and how we are doing. I encourage all working mothers to ask for help, eat right, exercise, sleep, get massages, get your hair and nails done and spend some money on some clothes that fit and make you feel good. You are worth it!</p>
<p>As excerpted from &#8220;42 Rules &#8482; for Working Moms&#8221; Super Star Press, 2008.</p>
<p>Laura Lowell is the executive editor and author of &#8220;42 Rules for Working Moms.&#8221; She has gathered practical advice and information from working moms all over the world to share with others. She lives and works in Silicon Valley with her husband and two girls. <a href="http://www.42rules.com/working_moms/index" title="http://www.42rules.com/working_moms/index" target="_blank">http://www.42rules.com/working_moms/index</a></p>
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		<title>Rule 30: Put on Your Oxygen Mask First</title>
		<link>http://www.viperwebsystems.com/2008/08/rule-30-put-on-your-oxygen-mask-first/</link>
		<comments>http://www.viperwebsystems.com/2008/08/rule-30-put-on-your-oxygen-mask-first/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>L.Lowell</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Womens Interest]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false"></guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Victoria Ryan knows that the most valuable contribution she has made to the U.S. workplace is her ability to influence senior leaders to allow flexible time, job-sharing, part-time work, comp-time and remote employment. Today two of five children are at home.
Have you been on a plane with your kids and heard the flight attendant tell [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Victoria Ryan knows that the most valuable contribution she has made to the U.S. workplace is her ability to influence senior leaders to allow flexible time, job-sharing, part-time work, comp-time and remote employment. Today two of five children are at home.</p>
<p>Have you been on a plane with your kids and heard the flight attendant tell you to put on your oxygen mask first? The immediate response is, &ldquo;No way, I need to take care of my kids (husband, mother, best friend, stranger in the seat next to me&hellip;). The idea is contrary to instinct.</p>
<p>What does it really mean? Simply this: If you don&rsquo;t don your mask first, you won&rsquo;t be there for all those other people when they need you. And for those of us with daughters who might become working moms, too, what better opportunity to be a role model whose values are clear: I take care of me!</p>
<p>The question becomes, what is your oxygen mask? For each of us, the answer is different. It might be:</p>
<p>- taking that hot bath when there is so much to be done outside of the bathroom.</p>
<p>- going for a walk with a friend late at night when your teenager is suffering with a paper that they could have started a week earlier.</p>
<p>- taking the last piece of homemade apple pie that you made and haven&rsquo;t yet had a piece of.</p>
<p>Take the mask first! Soak in the bath. Enjoy the walk. Eat the pie. Taking good care of your self is not selfish. Au contraire, it is the most valuable gift you can give to your self and to all who depend on you.</p>
<p>My &ldquo;taking care of me&rdquo; things are neither complicated nor time-consuming. They include:</p>
<p>- Physical fitness every day: a run, a walk, yoga, stretching, tennis.</p>
<p>- Eating well: that means healthy and the not-so-healthy on occasion, keeping the splurges special.</p>
<p>- Creating &lsquo;alone time&rsquo; for me (send the kids grocery shopping &ndash; that&rsquo;s a double win &ndash; the grocery shopping is done by someone other than me and I get alone time!).</p>
<p>When you first start taking care of yourself, you might hear some snotty, unsupportive remarks. As I was heading out for a much needed, mental health walk one night, one of my teens with a looming deadline said with indignance and a full-blown glare, &ldquo;I can&rsquo;t believe you are leaving right now.&rdquo; I came so close to canceling, but walk I did. And guess what? She handled the &ldquo;crisis&rdquo; and was better because of it. I saw and heard the confidence in her. That only happened because I walked away.</p>
<p>Another time, I had arranged for my then-husband to take the kids on an overnight to a local hotel with a pool to get some time in the house by myself. What a treat, right? Wrong. The whining was relentless, and I nearly broke down and cancelled. I don&rsquo;t know where the strength came from, but I held firm as they spewed things like, &ldquo;you don&rsquo;t love us&rdquo; and (from my husband) &ldquo;what will you do with all that time?&rdquo; Amazing he lived to see morning.</p>
<p>Remember, if this is new behavior for you, loved ones are not used to seeing you taking good care of yourself. Stay the course. Grab that mask and breathe. Then help them find theirs.</p>
<p>As excerpted from &#8220;42 Rules &#8482; for Working Moms&#8221; Super Star Press, 2008.</p>
<p>Laura Lowell is the executive editor and author of &#8220;42 Rules for Working Moms.&#8221; She has gathered practical advice and information from working moms all over the world to share with others. She lives and works in Silicon Valley with her husband and two girls. <a href="http://www.42rules.com/working_moms/index" title="http://www.42rules.com/working_moms/index" target="_blank">http://www.42rules.com/working_moms/index</a></p>
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		<title>Rule 31: Volunteer Your Way</title>
		<link>http://www.viperwebsystems.com/2008/08/rule-31-volunteer-your-way/</link>
		<comments>http://www.viperwebsystems.com/2008/08/rule-31-volunteer-your-way/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 30 Nov 1999 00:00:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>L.Lowell</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Womens Interest]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false"></guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Jan McDaniel has spent the last 25 years working in various senior management positions at some of the world&#8217;s largest High Technology companies. She did this while raising two daughters.
It&#8217;s important to be involved with your children&#8217;s activities: school, church, dance, drama or sports. You don&#8217;t want to be the only parent who meets the [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Jan McDaniel has spent the last 25 years working in various senior management positions at some of the world&rsquo;s largest High Technology companies. She did this while raising two daughters.</p>
<p>It&rsquo;s important to be involved with your children&rsquo;s activities: school, church, dance, drama or sports. You don&rsquo;t want to be the only parent who meets the teacher for the first time at back-to-school night or open house. You want to make a positive impression with the important people that influence your children. You want to be able to have an open dialog at any time with these influencers, as well as with your children. The trick is to do it on your terms in a way that works for you and your family.</p>
<p>But any of you who have anxiously shown up for a PTA meeting or a fundraising committee know that your time and talent is too valuable for what can often be unfocused gab fests. Take charge. Pick one or two volunteer activities that put you in total control. For instance, sign up to be room parent for your child&rsquo;s class. This job typically involves you assigning parents to stuff folders on Fridays or bring cookies to the mother&rsquo;s tea. It&rsquo;s the one job that puts you in the driver&rsquo;s seat and also allows you to work around your schedule. You can choose the fun things you want to do and assign the chores to others.</p>
<p>Show up early for the first open house and pounce on the field trip lists. Have your calendar ready and sign up for the first and last field trips of the year. You&rsquo;ll be able to  schedule these trips into your calendar, meet all the kids at the beginning of the year and make a great connection with the teacher. The end-of-the-year trip is always the most fun and relaxed and typically has nothing to do with the curriculum. That is purely a selfish selection that my kids and I always looked forward to.</p>
<p>Take the initiative. If your kids play sports that require snacks after the games, show up for the first parent meeting with a snack schedule ready to hand out to all the parents. I&rsquo;ve yet to meet a coach who doesn&rsquo;t appreciate this job being handled before it gets assigned. Put your name on the snack list for the first game so your job is already done. That way, the coach doesn&rsquo;t assign you to something like volunteering on picture day (that requires you to stay all day on Saturday with a 1,000 players) or to making a banner or worse yet to the end of the year party (that requires you to collect money for coaches&rsquo; gifts and to figure out who wants what on a pizza order).</p>
<p>At church, meet with the youth directors or head of Sunday school and explain that your tight schedule doesn&rsquo;t allow a long-term volunteer commitment, but you would like to do a few things throughout the year. After all, you aren&rsquo;t a total deadbeat; just a working mom who knows how to allocate her time. Provide an extra set of hands for a Sunday project, call parents, or better yet, do the snack list. Anything that shows your interest and can be done at night or introduces you to the children is great. Driving to events is often fun and gives you that chance to observe the dynamics of the group your children hang out with.</p>
<p>Some of the best discussions with my kids are the result of my being involved in their lives. A lot of working moms feel like they don&rsquo;t have the time to volunteer. I&rsquo;ve found that I can do it, as long as I do it my way.</p>
<p>As excerpted from &#8220;42 Rules &#8482; for Working Moms&#8221; Super Star Press, 2008.</p>
<p>Laura Lowell is the executive editor and author of &#8220;42 Rules for Working Moms.&#8221; She has gathered practical advice and information from working moms all over the world to share with others. She lives and works in Silicon Valley with her husband and two girls. <a href="http://www.42rules.com/working_moms/index" title="http://www.42rules.com/working_moms/index" target="_blank">http://www.42rules.com/working_moms/index</a></p>
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